You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
