he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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