He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize