He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
