oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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