it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
this hospital has no fireball
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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