But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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