The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
