Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Randomize
