You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
