Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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