this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
