You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
