I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
