well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
