I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
