I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
