were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize