The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
