Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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