I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
