This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
