it was like his penis was on wheels.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
