so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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