now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Who died my cat blue again?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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