dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
