i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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