also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
