I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize