drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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