i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
