I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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