i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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