I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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