And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize