I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
