I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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