just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
