i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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