i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
whose parrot is this?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
