I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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