I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
