No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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