Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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