We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
