i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize