you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Houston, we have a blender
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
