Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
