too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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