Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
