I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
