She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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