found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
