Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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