Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize