don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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