You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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