Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
