i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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