yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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