I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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