I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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