You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize