$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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